Ayahuasca is Not for Everyone
Over the course of my years of self-discovery, inner exploration, and searching for meaning, I developed an extensive and intimate familiarity with various nootropics, psychedelics, and plant medicines. While I vehemently believe these compounds and indigenous rituals should be studied and utilized for their potential psychological, emotional, and physical benefits, I also advise exercising healthy amounts of caution when diving into that world.
Here in Los Angeles, ayahuasca has become particularly trendy over the last few years. Some advertise of intense, life-changing realizations that freed them from drug addictions, negative thought patterns, and other self-destructive habits. Others talk about how being connected to “the Mother” and feeling a greater sense of unity amongst all life has inspired them to live more conscious, eco-focused lives. Still others say they had neutral experiences that “didn’t really create any change” or even negative experiences that put them in a funk for weeks or months.
So how can you know if having a journey with ayahuasca could benefit you on your quest for life-fulfillment? And what can you do to maximize the potential upsides?
The Calling
Do you feel “called” to engage with ayahuasca? This may seem somewhat ambiguous but it’s important to look inside yourself and question your motives for working with this medicine. Are you simply curious because it seems trendy and fun and you’re looking to have a trippy experience? Or are you feeling exhausted and lacking meaning and drive, participating in the daily rate race, and looking to see if there is something more? Are you dedicated to a journey of self-discovery, maybe tried some other psychedelics, and are fascinated with the idea of being strapped to a rocket that will propel you straight into the deepest, darkest realms of your subconscious?
Regardless of your motivations, it’s worthwhile to examine them and see if you are truly feeling that it is the right time in your life to be opening pandora’s box.
The Shaman
If you have to go in for surgery, you (hopefully) would not go to a random person that calls themselves a surgeon and let them cut into you. You would go to someone who has at least a decade of education and training, and maybe someone who your friends and family have worked with and to whom they can give positive testimonies.
It is the same with an ayahuasca shaman. You are going in for psychological surgery. This is not to be taken lightly. You are entrusting another human being with your soul as it is opened up and made bare. Your psyche is an extremely vulnerable and impressionable state, and it is critical to be with someone that can guide you to sanity should you get lost in the darkness.
Personally, I would not work with a shaman with less than 7+ years of dedicated practice to the craft. One of the indigenous shamans I worked with in Peru had 63 years of personal experience and comes from a lineage of shamans 9 ancestors deep. I’ve also worked with remarkable and talented shamans in the states. Someone who occasionally facilitates ceremonies on the side as a hobby is not a shaman. A shaman believes the shamanic path is their calling, their vocation.
If this is a shaman outside of South America who is not directly part of a lineage, they should be under tutelage of a more experienced shaman, preferably an indigenous maestro. As you are screening shamans, make sure they can give you detailed information about who they study with, how often they make pilgrimages/contact with their teacher, and the details of the specific indigenous lineage from which they derive their rituals (aka Shipibo, Santo Daime, etc)
Hopefully, you have some friends who have had experiences and can give you testimonies about the quality of their shaman. That’s a good starting point. You can also ask the shamans themselves for referrals of other qualified shamans. A respectable shaman will know other respectable shamans and will happily connect you.
A proper shaman will have you fill out waivers and medical background history forms. They will also provide you with detailed information on preparation before the ceremony (such as what foods and substances to avoid in the weeks leading up the ceremony) as well as guidelines for afterward.
Finally, and critically, a good shaman will make you feel comfortable when you talk to them. As with other psychedelics, set and setting are critical and you want to be with someone you feel safe with.
The Preparation
To get the most out of your experience, it helps to start feeding your mind with philosophical and spiritual wisdom in the weeks leading up to the journey. Oftentimes, the things you read might not click right away but then you’ll have sudden “a-ha!” moments within the ceremony or in the integration weeks afterward. The ayahuasca experience can be disorienting and challenging, and it helps to have a foundation of psycho-spiritual knowledge to provide some stability.
Classic works such as the Bhagavad Gita (preferably with commentary) would be a good starting point. More recent and less esoteric works such as Elkhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now,” Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning,” and Ram Dass’ “Be Here Now” are also excellent picks some of which may be more accessible to those that are less interested in the concept of “spirituality.”
It can also be helpful to start have a few preparatory calls with the shaman (if they offer it), or with a qualified coach or therapist that has experience with psychedelic integration. Having a skilled professional to talk to will help to set you up for success and also provide helpful context should you use their services for the post-ceremony integration.
Oftentimes, the shaman will also give you guidelines for preparation. This will likely include foods and substances to avoid in the weeks leading up to the ceremony (e.g. no weed for two weeks), as well as acts to avoid (e.g. no sex three days before). Like other personal development experiences, you get out what you put in. The more seriously you take the preparation, the more you’ll get out of the whole experience. You’ll likely be spending upward of $1k for the ceremony, as well as a significant amount of your time, so you may as well go all in to get the most out of your time and energy.
The Ceremony
I won’t go into too much detail on the experience of the ceremony itself, as I’ve found each ceremony to be remarkably unique. I had a mentor describe it as “wrestling a dragon for 6 hours.” I’ve had that experience. I’ve also had experiences where I’ve been in completely bliss for hours, feeling in complete harmony with the universe and the interconnected consciousnesses of all the people around me. I could see and feel my angel wings and halo as though they were physical limbs. I developed an understanding that I was to be a pillar of luminosity, continuously and actively transmuting darkness to light as I traverse existence.
I’ve also had experiences where I was completely lost in insanity, not sure if I would ever find my way back. Ultimately, I was grateful for both the blissful and the terrifying, as I would always come out with a sense of having learned and grown.
Regardless of what the psyche is working through, there are a couple of techniques I’ve found absolutely crucial to remaining strong and working through the medicine.
First, always do you best to sit up straight. If possible, sitting in a meditation posture with a straight spine and open chest. It often helps to have the palms facing up, resting on the legs. There is an immediate and pronounced link between physical posture and psychological condition, especially when one is in a hyper-sensitive state due to the medicine.
Second, when in doubt, sit up straight and focus on the breath. I’ve had experiences where I was working through deep subconscious horrors, and focusing on the breath helped me move through the terror with relative grace.
I’ve often heard people use the term “surrender,” which often times rubs me the wrong way. What I prefer is “acceptance.” Focus on being at peace and accepting whatever is happening. There have been times I was stuck in a negative thought loop such as “well, I sure am an asshole.” I was able to move through it by extending my thought to “well, I sure am an asshole sometimes, and that’s ok. I’ll work on that.” I’ve also had to tell myself “I think I might be insane forever now, I guess we’ll see what happens.” Ultimately, remember that you’ll move through it and things will be ok.
The Integration
It is generally accepted that the ayahuasca continues to work through the system for weeks and even months after the ceremony, a time referred to as the integration period. Hopefully, your shaman offers integration calls to help you work through any new insights you acquired, or maybe new questions and doubts that popped up. You can also work with a professional such as a coach or therapist that has experience in psychedelic integration.
Finally, it is absolutely critical to have a personal, daily spiritual practice. Some mix of yoga, meditation, breathwork, prayer, etc. Mix and match and find what works for you, or choose a specific tried-and-true path to follow such as Mahayana Buddhism or Hatha Yoga.
A good ayahuasca ceremony can act as a “deep clean” of the psyche. It’s like going to the spa, taking a hot bath, using the sauna, getting a mud mask and exfoliating treatment, a deep-tissue massage, and coming out feeling fresh and cleaner than ever. A daily spiritual practice is akin to taking a shower and brushing your teeth. Ultimately, the “deep clean” can be nice from time to time, but it’s the daily hygiene routine that really makes a difference in how you show up in the world. The metaphor is apt, as hopefully the daily practice can become (if it isn’t already) as automatic as showering and brushing your teeth.
So is ayahuasca for you? Please note, as a mental health professional, I would not recommend illegal substances to anyone. However, hopefully this guide can set you up with the right mindset and tools to give you the most beneficial experience possible should you decide to go engage with plant medicine.
